Don’t snap out of it, step out of it. And maybe run.
I was sitting at a cafe the other day and to be honest, I can’t help but hear into the conversations around me. Not that I intentionally do, it’s sound, it travels. One person talked about her boyfriend of a few years leaving her, another about cheating, another about drinking, drugs and horrible friends. You might think, “Gosh, roseanne what cafe is that? Don’t go back” but I realise increasingly that I’m hearing about unhappiness rather than happiness and increasingly I feel that it might be becoming the talk of today. Sadly.
If you’re in a situation where it hurts you more to be in it than aids you and you feel it’s best to leave a situation, you should. Here’s the cold hard truth. Bad friends, aren’t friends. Alcohol and drug addictions don’t and won’t substitute the emptiness you feel. Tomorrow it’ll come back. Cheating makes you take more and more, but at the end of the day, you’ll have nothing. Don’t go out with your abusive boyfriend before it’s too late- make sure you “date” him before you’re “together” with him so you know him – goes with all boys actually. These things rob you of everything that you’ve always wanted in leading a happy and healthy life of having a future family, house, kids, a great job, and a purpose in life. Worst of all, they trick you into thinking that you do have something, that you will have something but in actual fact, there is absolutely nothing. In fact, you end up losing even more of yourself.
Good friends want the best for you, understand you and are there for you even if you don’t want to do the things they’re doing. Changing your ways and finding your passion in life that makes you truly happy will substitute the emptiness you feel, forever. Having one person to love, trust, hold and believe in who loves you just as much is one of the greatest things a person can find. Finding someone who respects you is the most important. Respect yourself, it’s worth it. Depend on yourself for your own happiness, not on someone else or something else.
You might ask, “Roseanne..but this is all I’ve known. This is who I am. My parents are alcoholics, I’m one too. My friends cheat on each other, they get drunk every day. There’s nothing I can do.” What an excuse girl. STEP OUT OF IT. Some people say snap out of it, but that’s not enough to realize what you’re doing. Realize, hold back, and step out of the situation. Find yourself, your true self, not under a blanket of addictions and find your way out. There’s always a way out, you just have to get to it and free yourself. “It’s not that easy, Roseanne”. It’s not, never said it was, but what I did say was that it’s worth it.
It’s been a while since I’ve written a Tangspiration post. I guess it’s because I only write one of these when I get inspired to. I was sitting on the couch eating my lunch today when I started to reflect on what I’ve done in life (funny what a bowl of fried rice can do) and it came to me, “Man, I had NO idea.” I had no idea that I’d be blogging and youtubing and collaborating with major companies and agencies. I had no idea that one day I would welcome Christ into my life and just have such an awesome relationship with God knowing that I’ve been brought up differently. I had no idea that I’d be in a relationship even. I remember only a few months ago saying that I’d probably never get married (I know, issues much?). I had no idea that I’d even be in make-up, much less get into fashion jewelry and now in the midst of opening my own online store. Growing up, I’ve been trained to feel like I should be a doctor or a lawyer or a successful CEO and never have I even imagined that I wouldn’t even care about any of that, now. I guess the point is in reflecting that “I had no idea”, I see really how awesome life can be because you really have no idea what’s next.
I think part of the beauty in life is how unexpected things can be. I was really the nerd in High School. All I cared about was my grades, all I cared about was things that I don’t care about now. And I think a lesson to learn from that is that sometimes the things that you care so much about right now, won’t really matter in a few years. As we grow as people, we change and hopefully for the better and we change what we like, what we enjoy doing and grow into who we were made to be. Sometimes slowy, but surely. I think that’s also why when we listen to the superficiality of the world as they call it, and go into something that we weren’t meant to do like become a banker when we really like painting, we are unsatisfied and unhappy. No matter how many mountains of cash you can make, we feel empty because we do not fulfill a much deeper purpose and from my perspective, God-given.
I wonder when again I will be telling myself “I had no idea” . I wonder what it might be. Perhaps I’ll be in another country and telling myself “I had no idea” or staring something else that “I had no idea” about. For me, I trust God to lead me and use me for whatever He wants me to do. But if you can’t relate, I still believe that just like me, you have no idea what you might be into in a couple of years. All we can do is anticipate in excitement and perhaps stumble upon the fore-shadowing of hopefully something great. What did you have no idea about?
I’m sure everyone has a dream. It could be a dream to open a corner bakery or become the President of the United States. Whatever it is, the only way we can achieve that dream is to walk. I see my friends wanting to do something but for some reason they fail to see that they’re not moving towards their dream but insist on a standstill. People often put walls up on this journey to a dream. They say “I’m not going to do it now because I’m going to wait till this part of my life is over before I can start” or “I’m not going to go on a diet until after Mom’s birthday buffet,”. It’s sorta the same concept. Although that’s fine to put walls up I think the major obstacle is when people push those walls further along the line than the point on which they were built. That means you not doing anything about your sole purpose in life expands.
It’s almost human to do that I guess. To push it away. We reject our Mother’s advice when we’re teenagers, junk food tastes better than celery, drinking and doing drugs is easier than facing something that we’ve always wanted to hide. But know that just as you put off that “diet” even after Mom’s birthday buffet – you are leading yourself to a much lower position in your life than you sought out in the first place. You see your life can go two ways. One way goes to life to the full and the other way can lead to just the opposite. Don’t let the walls that you build yourself lead you in the wrong direction.
I think we sometimes feel that we’re helpless against what we build ourselves. It’s easier to just eat it. It’s easier to just not do it. But as they all say, nothing worth fighting for was ever easy. Don’t delay life, we can’t wait for our lives to start. It already started when we started having dreams.
The only reason why we’re scared, is cause we wanna be scared. It’s really our choice. Fear comes in many different forms. It can be as simple as that pounding feeling you feel when you’re about to climb up on stage and say something, could even be as complex as getting started on a dream online store. Trust me, we could be so scared that we’re peein’ in our pants but I want you to know that the only reason why you’re scared is because you’ve chosen to be scared.
Listen to the voice that’s telling you that that audience out there is going to love what you have to say instead of the one saying you’re going to trip on the stairs getting up there, split open your pants and everyone’s going to start laughing at you before you even start (c’mon as if that’s going to happen). Or the voice that’s telling you that you’re going to make it, not fail it. We all have two voices in our head and it’s up to us who we listen to.
I guess it comes from a little experience though. Being a blogger, I get a little scared about whether you’re going to like watching a new video I made or even reading what you’re reading right now. Maybe I got a little chubbier and you’re going to notice, maybe what I’m writing now doesn’t even make sense. What if you get sick of me one day? Or listen to some gossip that’s so not true about me on the internet. I don’t know, you never know what could happen really! But truth be told, I guess doing what I do gets hard. I’m sure if you’ve started a blog before or you’re having one now, it’s not always a comfy bed of roses. There’s a lot of hard work that goes into this and I just tell myself that I choose not to listen to that voice that’s telling me I’m no good to anyone and listen to the one that maybe even if I can’t reach millions of people, that maybe just one person might get where I’m going and might overall benefit from what I’m doing. Even if it’s just one person, it’s enough for me. There were a lot of times I just wanted to quit but I’ve told myself countlessly that “No, I’m not going to listen to that voice, I’m going to believe in me,” and it actually keeps me going. Plus, y’all are amazing people who are really supportive.
I’ve figured that it’s also pretty related to love, especially I guess mending a broken heart. I think when we break up with someone, we keep thinking of all the things that we could have done right, or just really replaying memories that we have of them and just being miserable about it. I don’t think it’s God’s intention to make you miserable because He wants you to live your life to the full and that’s not part of the plan. I’ve made a video on How to Get Over Someone which is getting a good amount of attention, it really makes me happy to look at the comments on that and see how many people are really getting help from my video but one of the things I did say is to ignore it and don’t feed the fire. I related the fire to be basically the love you have for that person who you can’t be with anymore and people tend to really over-think and overwhelm themselves that they feed that “love” that’s not supposed to be there anymore. They tend to add “wood” which are the thoughts to the “fire” when they should be ignoring it so that it can die out eventually. We need to allow ourselves to do that, but if we listen to that voice that makes us miserable, there is no way we can let that naturally happen. When I made that video, I was in the process of “healing” actually and it took me a long time but I decided that I had enough of these stupid thoughts, of these memories being dangled in front of me, of me feeling insecure and not good enough – I guess you could say I was sick of depending my happiness on a person who didn’t deserve it. I was sick of it enough to tell it that “No, I’m not going to listen to you anymore, I’m actually great, I don’t need that kind of person in my life, and there is so much ahead of me that the now will not define my future.” It worked.
I think also sometimes we tend to underestimate ourselves too much. Maybe we are whipped from young to think that we can’t do everything and anything. We should be modest and not think of ourselves so highly (of course not stepping over the line of egotistical) but I guess it’s okay to feel like you’re empowered and you’re awesome. Because you’re awesome. Everyone has this purpose in life, even if you don’t know it yet, it might not be to start up your own bakery or magazine – sometimes purpose comes through not by financial or career perspectives, but by relationships with people. Maybe your calling is to help others, help your family, help friends, help your partner grow. I’m sidetracking. Point is, value yourself because you are valuable and because you are valuable, listen to the right voice inside your head – the one you know is right.
Today I thought I might write an opinion piece. I haven’t done one of these in a long time. Now, I’m going to warn you first that with opinion pieces, they’re unplanned and messy unlike most of my posts. There are no pictures, it’s just what I have to say about the topic at hand. Opinion pieces flow out of me and I’m not going to bother correcting and structuring it. We’ll see where we end up.
When people come up to me and ask me what I blog about or what my passion is and I reply with the answer cosmetics or makeup, sometimes depending on the person, I get too much of a shrug or a raised eye-brow. When I asked people on twitter the remarks they get, @Miss_Flossy replied that “Someone once assumed I was dumb because I wear makeup.” Well hey, I get that too.
You see, although I know that this does not apply to everyone, many seem to think that make-up or wearing make-up is fake. Albeit that yes, you are adding something to your face to enhance your beauty and that yes, it can sometimes become an addiction. Once you start to wear makeup, you can’t really stop. Well, for me at least. It is a rare occasion when I will walk out the door with a bare face. You kind of become accostomed to it and you kind of become comfortable under that shield of powder and foundation, that wonderful feeling of confidence in yourself that you know you look good because you have your “face” on. Maybe it’s the media. Maybe it’s the fact that all the popular girls on TV wear makeup and all the “real” girls tormented by these popular girls wearing makeup, don’t. Maybe it’s common instinct to defend the real girls and I’m not saying that wearing makeup is a necessity but maybe it’s that inner calling of a once tortured inner self that scorns makeup wearers alike. Whatever it is, most people who declare that makeup is fake often say that we don’t celebrate ”true” beauty.
But I guess the point today to address is well, what is “true” beauty? True beauty is internal. You could be Miss Universe but if you are rotten inside, mean, insiduous and horrible, and have slept with married men to get to where you are, I would never ever call you a beautiful person. Thus, whether someone is truly beautiful should be based on our values, kindness and mannerisms rather than our external apperance. I think that makeup helps us bring out our confidence, feelings of empowerment and control which ultimately aids to nurture our inner beauty. It helps to fix ourselves.
Makeup should only act to enhance your appearance, not mask it either. Just like speech and art and poetry, makeup is a form of self expression. Each and everyone of us have different personalities and different styles. Just like clothes which can also enhance and alter our appearance, makeup does the same. Why isn’t wearing clothes fake? Why is makeup more fake than clothes? They both do the same thing. They express styles and it is ultimately and addition to your apperance. We may feel that clothing is necessary and makeup is not. Maybe that’s why. Like @Got_takoyaki, some also argue thatmakeup is an art form. The faces are the canvases and the makeup becomes the paint. War paint. Performance paint. Whatever paint, makeup is art. It is again a form of self-expression.
I reckon there’s a deeper meaning to it though. Makeup might make us look better, but the reason why we do it is because it makes us feel better.@peachykeen_15 says that makeup helps her to be the best version of herself and that she wouldn’t be happy half doing anything in life, why stop at the way she presents herself. @Adeline_er says that makeup is used to enhance her natural features and hence isn’t fake as she hasn’t altered anything on her original face.
I think however that ultimately, it all boils down to personal choice. When you look into the mirror and see yourself, do you believe that you’re beautiful? Well, imagine this. If you are undergoing cancer treatment, if you have been bullied again and again at school perhaps for the appearance of your skin, if you are facing ill treatment in the office because of how you look and you look at yourself in the mirror, it’s not going to be 100% there that you think that you’re hot. Most often than not, you don’t. You start hating yourself. You wish you were someone else. I think that no matter how many times people tell you that you’re beautiful, you will only think that you are beautiful if you yourself believes it. It’s the same with all the theories of life.
But say that that cancer patient looks to her side table, grabs a brush and her favourite blush, the sweetest pink. Say she does. Say she careful opens up the package and takes the brush, sweeps it tentatively side to side and then looks into the mirror and in small strokes, applies the blush slowly, almost savoring the moment. When she is done, she looks into the mirror, turns her head side to side and smiles. She smiles. She hasn’t smiled in so long. She smiles because she feels better about herself. She feels more confident. She feels powerful. She feels beautiful. Let’s say she feels like she can take on the world. Would you come to her and point at her and laugh, “Haha, you’re fake now!” – I didn’t think so. Isn’t all that matters is if that a person is happy, that that person does what he or she wants to do, that makeup itself becomes a factor of personal choice rather than a factor of others. If putting that blush on makes her happy, so much happier, then let her put that blush on.
A lot of people ask me why I ever started makeup or why I ever started blogging about beauty. I really was quite the nerd in High School. No silly person would have ever guessed, not even myself, that I would blog about beauty. I mean I always had that desire to be hot like all the popular girls but I wasn’t like them. They weren’t very nice anyway. All I really put on was an eye-liner and I would look into the mirror and tell myself, “Well, Roseanne, this is as good as it gets.” With a side smirk and a blank stare into the mirror and a comb through of my hair, I walked out of my room, ready to face the day no matter what people thought. I didn’t have time for myself. I barely cared about what I wanted or even how I looked. I had too many things to do and often those things were for other people.
And then my heart broke. It broke into I remember telling my friend how it feels to be heartbroken. It feels like your heart is made of glass and it’s dropped from the top of the empire state building and crashes onto the pavement and the wounds feel like they’ve been swirled around in the desert and salted. Pain. You know, you hear and you see it in the movies. You see people get sad and heartbroken but you really only know when you’ve had it yourself and it’s a pain that you can’t just stop. It’s a pain that you ultimately have to rise up, defeat and learn from. I did. It’s something you have to do yourself, alone. I had never felt so alone in my life. Looking back, it feels like you’ve climbed mountains and crossed rivers and re-built buildings you never though you’d have to. I have to say that makeup to me was an integral part of the healing process. I started to wear makeup to school and in the morning I would wear makeup for myself. It was “me” time. It was the 10 to 15 minutes at the start of my day that would make me feel important again. Because when you break up with someone, you feel lost. You don’t know who you are anymore but makeup helped me feel powerful, in control and pretty. I felt pretty. I didn’t feel useless and pitiful, I felt pretty. That really helped me.
Makeup isn’t fake. It isn’t about short, slutty skirts, mean cheerleaders, homewreckers or sell outs. I believe that sometimes we come to conclusions thinking we know both sides of the story but I don’t think we always do. It’s like thinking a toy does something when it actually does a bunch of other things that we didn’t know it did. Likewise makeup yes, if applied wrongly can be disastrous, but if applied correctly, can serve to empower women and that is something that I’ll always believe in.
A little note – this is a little long but necessary.
Believe it or not, I dreamnt last night right before I woke up, a woman pulled me aside just as I was about to leave some class (trust me, I have weird dreams) and tried to ask me why it is that people want to be just like barbie. I’m not trying to crtiticize the toy in any way, I spent my childhood dressing the barbies my friends had. I didn’t have the chance to own my own. My answer to her was that well, pretty obvious, she’s flawless, she’s perfect. But then I said that if she was a real human being, that actually she wouldn’t even exist because she’s not humanly proportional. The woman nodded (she was my teacher or something I think) and then told me she was fighting something, she just gave me this look of desperation and stared intensely right into my eyes and I told her to just tell me how I could help her and she said eating disorder and then I woke up. I didn’t get the chance to help her. Hate it when I wake up at the wrong time. Because to be honest, despite my avid interest in food, I’ve been there done that and have survived to tell you my own ugly truth about eating disorders.
I hate digging up the past. It’s not something I do unless it is really beneficial. We all know what its like to feel insecure about our bodies. I still do if anything, it’s not fun. “Why is she so skinny? I hate her because she’s so skinny. I wish I was so skinny. I want your legs. I want your arms. I can’t eat for the whole day now.” We all probably have said that before. Even guys get insecure about their weight. But some people don’t joke about it. Eating disorders doesn’t mean you’re always thinking about losing weight, you are always losing weight through excessive means. Anorexia means you don’t eat. Bulimia means you throw up everything you eat. The main message is – it’s good to be healthy via healthy means.
When I was 14 years old, I was always pretty chubby. My friends were skinny, but my mama’s homecookin’ was a little too good. I wasn’t thin and it kind of bothered me because my relatives would make fun of me and even sometimes my immediate family. They would joke about it. You know if I ever have kids, I would never do that. Ok maybe it might lead to self-improvement, but rather if you have kids, don’t joke about their weight, do something about it. Encourage runs, say it’s for health, have them eat healther food – don’t make fun of their weight verbally, do something about it. You know how traumatizing it is for a kid to hear that, even somebody to hear that, it hurts.
Anyway, it was recess time and one day my friend that time, brings up the issue of diets and weight loss. I obviously didn’t know too much about them and she’s like, “I need to go on a diet. I was like”, “a diet, hmmm. I could lose some weight, what do you do?”, “apparently, you don’t eat so much and like cut all your rice, let’s go on one together, it’ll be better, like teamwork” “Ok, let’s do it, we’ll see how much weight we’ll lose”. Turning point. From that day on, losing weight was competition to me. I lost a friend, and I lost more than a few pounds.
I don’t want to teach you how to have an eating disorder so at my worst, on days I didn’t have P.E (physical education), I would cut up an asian pear into cubes. I would eat half of it for breakfast and half of it for lunch. For dinner, I would take what my mom gave me and wash it under hot water, skip the rice, and call it dinner. On days I did have P.E, I took a slice of the lowest calorie bread I found at the store, toast it, cut it into cubes and eat half of it for breakfast and half of it for lunch. And then for dinner I’d do the same again. I did that for close to a year. What happened to me. I remember writing a short story about eating disorders before I actually had one and for some reason I could fortell the symptoms. I became yellow, like a simpson, symptom of jaundice, I had perpetual hair loss and had nearly a bald patch. I was so thin. And the worst thing was, I did that to myself.
But what was going on mentally was more interesting. What they say is true. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I found all the spots I hated about myself and all the spots I wanted to “delete” not really what was in front of me. I found comfort in feeling up my hip bones before I slept, in feeling the pain of my bones against themselves when I curl up in a ball. You see, to people who have eating disorders, they feel out of control of their lives when they eat normally. I remember crying about how much I ate when I ate normally. Normally. They feel like they would lose the whole world if they gained a pound. The key word is control, you feel like your car of life would swerve and hit a cliff and fall if you ate. I remember going into the bathroom during class and that time my best friend was cutting herself. We both were in deep trouble in the self harm department and I remember her saying, “see I told you, it’s harder to quit than you think. I just feel like I’m not in control when I’m not feeding it.” It was so hard to quit.
Thankfully, when I went to London over the summer, having not seen my sister for so long, she told me eat. To eat something. I listen to my sister more than my Mom. I realized that if I kept on doing what I did, I probably wouldn’t be here. That my whole future that lay ahead of me that I didn’t know of wouldn’t even exist. In fact, this blog wouldn’t have existed, nothing. I would have gone right before I started to do great things. You see that every time you overcome a low point in life, you breakthrough to a greater era of yourself. That every time you push a low point aside and say I am stronger than you, you become a better version of yourself.
I read article upon article on quitting. But I think the major point I read somewhere was that it’s actually pretty cool to have more of you on this earth. That’s true. Well it was a very slow process, but that was 5 years ago. I can safely say I eat whatever I want now and I lived to tell the tale. So if you are going through one or “want to say you are”, it’s not glamorous, it’s not fun, it’s not cool. It’s dangerous, you could die from it. You need to get out of it. To be honest, this goes for any addiction – whether it be smoking, drugs, etc.
And if you are going through one, your life ahead of you and you being healthy is so much more beautiful than what this “thing” is doing to you. Trust me because I have been there. I’m not some medical health article you found on the internet. You see that when you overcome your lowest point in life, you breakthrough to a greater era of yourself. That every time you push a low point aside and say I am stronger than you, you become a better version of yourself. I am testimony to that.
I know this was really long, but I hope you got something from it. Love yourself first.
I reckon only a handful of us understand what giving is. A lot of people have read somewhere in some website or in the pages of some book that we should all give more than we receive. But let’s face it, do we really feel that way? After all, getting a car feels much better than giving one away. Receiving money feels much better than giving it. I think we should really think about this though.
I was walking along the street the other day when I realized that we are nothing without giving. I am not much of anyone without sharing my thoughts on this blog and youtube channel. A person isn’t worth much without a purpose and a role. In a way, the only way to receive is to give. You must give something of yourself whether it be to your job, family, friends and loved ones.
Yet, most of the time we get lost in calculating how much we get back. We got lost in what I call the mathematics of giving and we all need to do this: Give and Expect Nothing in Return. Because that’s true giving and that’s the only kind of gift that you’d want given to you. Give because it makes you happy to give, not to receive.
I know some people who try to squeeze every last drop out of their boyfriends before they get married because they think they’ll get nothing after it. I know some people who get upset at the balance of giving and think that they feel that they’ve given too much but have received nothing. I even know some people who are too afraid to give because they think they’ll be taken for granted and dumped on the side for being “whipped”. Did you know that giving takes many different forms and that your perception of giving might differ from somebody elses? People show their love in different ways. You might feel that when your boyfriend doesn’t text you back immediately, that he’s not doing his part in the relationship. Little did you know, he’s probably busy planning the next big date for the both of you. Perhaps texting just isn’t his thing, but he knows exactly what to say when he’s sitting next to you. People give differently, you just have to be aware of it. To be honest, I’d only want someone to do something for me not because I asked them to do it, but because they truly want to. That’s the only act I care about.
Don’t be afraid to give because you think you’ll get nothing in return. If giving because it makes you feel good isn’t good enough, then know that it’s just the natural order of things to receive. The more time and effort you put into your homework, the higher your grade will be. The more attention you give to your puppy, the more your puppy will love you back. The more water and sun (within good reason) you give a plant, the more fruit it will produce. It’s just the way things work.
Giving is like planting a seed. At the end of the day, the more you give, the more you receive but receiving should never be the end goal of your gift.
Sometimes I wonder how on earth I am so lucky to have what I have. To be able to have you right now reading what I’m typing late at night in my high school sweater and puppy printed pajama pants, to have you care what I think or even care about what I have to say. I’ve wondered so many times why I got to be the one that you’ve chosen. There are so many thoughts out there, but here you are reading mine. Now, you might think that this is slightly a religious post and I am a true believer of believing whatever you want to believe but take what I have to say and make it applicable in your life. Easy.
Who do you influence? I watched a Rick Warren’s TED video and everything just came together. The reason why I have received this “influence” and this magic ability to reach so many of you out there is because I was chosen to do it. God gave me this influence because he knew that I could somehow impact your life for the better and have the whole heart to do so. I believe that if God gives you influence, it is for a reason. It doesn’t have to be an impact on thousands of lives, it can be an impact on just one. You still have influence and I’m telling you now, because you were chosen, don’t ever let it go to waste. Don’t let it ever slip by, or use it for something that it wasn’t meant to be used for. You can influence your children, your family and friends. For people who were lucky enough to be given so much influence to thousands of people, then you better think of some way to make some good out of it because you were given it for a reason.
Sometimes I wonder if whatever I put out there is good enough. Do I get enough likes, do I get enough comments, retweets, new followers. I hate to admit it but this goes out to really everyone on social media. For you, you might worry about whether you’ve gotten enough recognition from your boss, enough love from your boyfriend, enough money from the year. It’s hard not to think of that because it really is the only measure to see if you’re doing a good job or not. Or so we think. But, again you have to remind yourself that these results should never be the reason why you’re doing something. The reason why I do what I do is because I want to empower women. Simple. Think of what your core purpose is for any activity, interest even in the grander scheme of life. My Dad still says to me it doesn’t matter what you do. You could throw trash for a living but if you throw trash better than everyone else can, people will throw money at you. It’s not about the money, money is results, likes and comments are results. Results are great don’t get me wrong but it should never be what you are doing something for, it should always be for something much greater than that. It won’t last long if the only root holding what you do down is material. It always comes from some greater force, desire or passion inside you. And it should – be it to fulfill an influence you were given or a cause you are fighting for and if you do what you do better than everyone else can, the results will inevitably follow. So even if I don’t get any likes on this post or any comments, I’m not going to care because I did my job with all my heart and the best of me is put into what I’m writing right now and if that’s not enough, it’s fine because I did my part.
Maybe I got a little sidetrack-ed because it is 12:27 AM. I’m really tired but I hope that you got something from this. To all the bloggers I know who have influence, to anyone who has influence on anybody’s life, use it for what it was intended to be used for. Don’t worry about results, care about a greater goal in your life and results will naturally follow.
Watch Rick Warren’s talk about living a life of purpose. It changed my view of life entirely.
Today I’m going to be talking about love. And I promise that it’s not going to be sappy like some 1PM Soap Opera but I hope that you’ll be able to take something away from it. Too many times I see girls going into relationships just to see what it feels like. Too many times I see them coming out of them feeling like a lost soul without a name. In other words, it didn’t go very well. I’ve been there. Girls worry too much about what boys think – if they’re pretty enough, if they are fun enough, if they can sing, dance, flutter their eyes better than any other girl he could get. Too many times we worry about what they’re thinking but not too much about what we actually want. And that’s the point here.
What do you actually want in a guy? Sometimes when we start dating, we begin to doubt and feel insecure about how we are portraying ourselves to the other person. We don’t know if we’ve waited long enough to text him back, if he likes a particular outfit you’ve picked tonight or if he finds you cool, funny and fun to be with. Or even the inevitable – if he thinks you look fat. We keep worrying about what they think.
But have you ever thought about what you want? Have you ever stopped feeling insecure to turn the tables and ask yourself, “is HE fun enough for me? Is HE smart enough?”. Most of all “is he good ENOUGH for me”, not the other way. We need to stop feeling insecure because truth be told, he might feel exactly the same way. He doesn’t know if you think he looks weird in the haircut he got last week or if you think the shirt his Mom gave him was cool enough to wear on your date.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t date anyone you want. That’s not what I’m saying. I think that the more you date, and the more you get to know how they’re thinking, the more you figure out what you actually want. And that’s special because when you find the right one, all the experiences you’ve gathered from your past relationships has made you into a better (hopefully) person and most of all ready for your one true love.
But that’s not the most important part. I think that the most important part is to NEVER feel like you’re NOT good enough for someone or if you’re different (think different, look different, whatever different) that you won’t be able to be scooped up because that’s nonsense. If someone can’t see the beauty in you, then they are not good enough FOR YOU, not that you’re not good enough for them. That’s what you should keep in mind.
I remember sitting down with a really close friend and telling her how life was never made to be easy. She’s never really worked for anything in her life, she’s always been spoon-fed with a silver spoon and she was facing a tough turning point in her life and I wanted her to hear me out. She’s one of my closest friends, but I felt that I had spent the last three years of my life telling her how to do everything and lots of times doing it for her that I was spoiling her. She always does what she wants and whenever she faces a difficult situation that makes her uncomfortable, she is the first person that would turn and walk the other way.
I told her just that. And I told her to start doing something that made her uncomfortable every day. Even if it’s the little-list things like going to the 24 hour study center at 9pm at night to make sure work is done. Or even finally spring cleaning out your closet. It’s something that I’ve been believing in since a while ago because life is too short to walk the only path that you know.
I’ve watched movies alone before, gymmed at 6 am every morning for a month. I’ve indoor sky-dived, I’ve founded my own blog and youtube for goodness sakes. I’ve put myself out there without any make-up on. I’ve gone to big parties only knowing the host, even if the host is a person that I’ve just met, and I’ve left those parties knowing everyone. I find that’s the best way to make new friends sometimes. I’ve done things for people I wouldn’t normally do. I even woke up early to get croissants for a guy I was dating because that’s his favorite food and he couldn’t wake up in time to get them from a particular place. I’ve never done that for someone before. I remember walking to the store wondering what in the world I was doing but what the hell, life is short, if you want to do it, just do it. I’ve loved, even if it wasn’t meant to be. I find that if you do something uncomfortable everyday or even just for starters once a month, you might just find yourself doing more things than you’ve ever done before.
I went for a run today at Carlton gardens and I realised that whoever said life was easy, has not lived at all. Doing things that are out of your comfort zone is difficult. It makes you feel funny, and sometimes that funny isn’t fun. But, imagine walking one path your whole life and missing out on the turning points that could have lead you to somewhere even greater, and even better. Start by doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable (within reason) and you’ll find that you’ll be living a life much more enriching and vast than you could have ever imagined.
Happy Valentines Day! Now before you bring out the flaming torches and make smores out of that statement – Although albeit some of you may be crashing on the couch watching mythbusters and hating today for making you wallow in what they call “Single Awareness Day”, Valentines Day isn’t just about receiving roses and chocolate from some admirer you don’t actually like, or do. I reckon it’s about showing the people you love, you love them, regardless. That includes your closest mates, parents, and even your dog. As for me, I had to work late tonight (again) and I don’t forsee my love life taking the high road anytime soon so for you all seething that I’ve added to the mix of love stories in your inbox, well, I myself ain’t much in a love spot myself right now. I’m actually enjoying it, don’t tell anyone.
But, in the case that cupid didn’t forget you today and were surprised that you found a dozen roses waiting for you at your desk or your boyfriend or husband of however long forgot that you told him never to get you flowers, then Valentines Day is a day for you and I wish you and your loved one a beautiful day. For all the single ladies in the house, hey, I reckon your day will come along soon. If you think about it, your soulmate is walking around on this earth right now. He just hasn’t found you yet and you haven’t found him yet. But he exists. Just live your life the way you’d always want to live it – things like these I reckon are given rather than forced and are given only when you’re ready.
To that, my love life has been a pretty complicated show. I think most of you on twitter would attest to that. But, I think what I’ve come to learn from all of it (so far) is that every person who was significant enough to walk into my life has taught me something about myself or about people. In fact, I’ve always believed that every person you meet or come to know, you meet or come to know for a reason. I also believe that Love is the only thing that can change a person completely. It’s not a rise in your salary, it’s not that gucci bag you’ve always wanted or even what your best friend said – it’s love. People say that in a relationship, you should always be your truest self and your boy shouldn’t change who you are. I believe that in a relationship, you should be who you are, but allow him to change you for the better, and most of all bring out the best in you.
So, I hope you found that man who makes you sing like William Hung (I still remember him) in the shower, accidentally trip over a little kid because you weren’t thinking straight, sit on wet paint or spill your coffee at the counter because you couldn’t help thinking about the way he held your hand for the first time (aww) – and even if you haven’t, well just know that good things come to those who wait.
They say that your experiences in life are shaped by the way you see the world. A simple task like walking can feel difficult and tiring if you see it that way but come to think of it, all you’re really doing is lifting up your foot and putting it down. That’s not hard is it? Life is simply how you see it.
My older sister came back for Christmas and the whole family decided to go to Bangkok. It was a great trip. I remember after a really long day at Chatuchuk, the famous and ridiculoulsy large shopping market, my sister complained that she had a migraine. We had to sit at a random hotel lobby and wait till she felt better, something I didn’t mind doing but for me, it was silly. I told my sister to look at me and tell her migraine to buzz off. Simply put, show your headache who is boss. You are boss, and your headache will only get worse if you bow down to it. Your headache is for that moment controlling you by making you feel like absolute crap ( It’s my blog, and I can say bad words, thats right). But what if you got up and decided, “Nah, No way, I decide what I want to feel like and you, my headache, ain’t gonna stop me”. What if you stood up and told yourself, “I’m not going to have any of this, I don’t care, you can hurt all you want but I’m not going to stop my life for you”. “You’re insignificant” – show em who’s boss. I told my sister that, she did it, and ten minutes later, it was gone.
Perhaps as they say, it was all in her head. But what if you took that mentality and applied it to your life right now. You might have just gone through a break-up and you could be feeling things you feel like you can never escape. Tell yourself that you’re not going to stop your life for this, show your feelings who’s boss. After all, they’re just a bunch of chemical reactions and hormones your brain produces. That’s what a feeling is. It’s a chemical reaction, nothing more. You might be going through a tight time in your life right now. Stress from work, stress from personal life – making it hard to muster up any energy at all to do what you have to do. I’m there. But you know what I tell myself? I put my foot on the ground and with each step I take, Step 1: “Take”, Step 2: “That”, Step 3: “B***”. All together now, “Take That, B***”. Works like a charm. You know why? Because I’m the only one who is in control of my life. I choose how I want to feel, how I want to think, and who I want to become. And you know what? You have exactly the same power.
Show your life who is boss because you are the only one who can.
I get asked this question a lot. How on earth do you find the time to do everything that you do? How do you do it? How do you find time? How do you find time to blog?
The answer is this. Everything is as hard as it looks. I’m not going to lie to you and say that waking up at 6am every morning and coming home long after dinner is easy. I’m not going to say that beginning my “second” job at 10 every night is easy. It’s not. It is as hard as it looks. And if you’re going through a tough time, and if you think life is difficult, it is. I’m not going to say. Oh yeah, I got the hang of this and I don’t feel it anymore. I feel it everyday. The first task is to simply admit it. Life is hard, it wasn’t made to be easy. It’s Ok. It’s ok to admit it. Trust me, it feels better. Things that are worth it are never given to you, easy. Somewhere along the line, either you or someone else fought for it.
But you know what? If life was a breeze and if life was simple and easy, you’d never be able to accomplish much. It’s these times that truly make you who you are. In fact, I believe that you can make your life as exciting, thrilling and as satisfying as you want it to be. You are in control of what you get out of life – the end result, the products, the experiences you learn and the people you meet. You are in control of how you feel, how you see things, no matter how much you think that you can’t help it, you can. That’s what keeps me going. If life was simple, I’d feel like I’m wasting my time. Life isn’t forever and knowing that makes me want to make sure that I squeeze and milk every last drop that it can provide. I’m making sure I get my money’s worth.
Difficult times filter out who needs want they want and who just wants it. They separate the million dollar entrepreneurs from the dreamers who talk about what they want but have never done anything about it. Difficult times simply reward the people who reach the finish line and punishes really, the people who never make it. The people who never make it and give up suffer through the difficult times but never reach the reward.
My motto? Just keep walking. Just keep going. Just keep doing what you’re doing as long as you know it’s the right thing to do. Just keep swimming. Somehow moving will always get you somewhere even if you might not know where you’ll end up. I know I don’t. Even the co-founder of Twitter says: ”I’ve no idea what will happen next, but I’ve learned to follow the hunch but never assume where it will go.”
So how do I do it? I have no idea. Somehow in my heart, I push myself everyday because everyday I’m rewarded with something new, something learnt or something that helps me become the person I want to be or closer to the person I truly am. Somehow I know that if I keep walking, I reckon I’ll end up somewhere good. If you sit there and do nothing about it, you’ll be forever stuck in a rut. Just keep walking, doing, dreaming, living, meeting, and by the time you realize it you’d have lived a life worth fighting for.
Three years doesn’t sound like a very long time. But in three years, you could complete a university degree, you could have travelled the globe and back and most importantly, you could have changed into a very different person. Sometimes when we go through life, we forget about the big picture. We forget that there is more to life than our 9 to 6 job and our train rides to and fro, or getting the latest Gucci tote and whether the guy who keeps looking at you at the gym will ever find enough guts to ask you on a date.
We forget the big picture, especially during our low points and even when we’re confused where our life is taking us and what direction we need to go next. Trust me, I’m there now. I’m graduating this year from college and I have no idea what I’m going to do next or whether what I should be doing is what I should do for bascially the “rest” of my life. Does life stand still for the remaining term? No, not at all. The only question you have to ask yourself is ‘where were you 3 years ago?” That’s it. Because in just three years, your life can twist and turn until you land in a totally different position in life in a totally different situation in life that sometimes you’d never even expect. That happened to me at least.
Three years ago, I was 17 years old. High School, Junior Year. I had my first boyfriend, my first love, and I haven’t even broken up with him yet. Never did I know that that breakup would teach me a lot about myself and even about other people. My grades were dropping and I was taking really hard classes. I had an enormous extracurricular workload and I was brash, didn’t care much about people and just wanted to go about doing my own thing because I had so much to do. I wasn’t a people person at all. People didn’t like me very much, they called me “powerschool girl” because all they thought I cared about was my grades. Yet, they were slipping and the only really great thing in my life was my boyfriend and my small group of friends. I argued a lot with my mom, I ate dinner in my room, I didn’t wear make-up because I didn’t care, and I studied a ridiculous amount, just trying to get the grades up and wondering why on god’s earth they weren’t where they were supposed to be. I didn’t know what Uni I’d go to, didn’t even know that I’d be going to Australia, I didn’t even know that I’d break up with my boyfriend. All that changed. That was me three years ago.
It’s safe to say that I am totally a different person now. It in fact is probably a ridiculous 180 degree turn, in just three years. Thus in another three years, I could be a totally different person than what I am now in a totally different situation. Life is like that. Life throws you twists and turns and is a continuous journey to somewhere hopefully better that is if you choose it be better. Life is simply a sum of all your decisions in life and where you eventually end up is a result of either a good or bad decision.
I never really understood when a 24 year old would ask my age and then gawk that I’m just 20. I never really understood when a 24 year old would tell me “I’m so young”. I mean, I’m not that much younger. I’m just four years younger than you, what’s the big deal? But then I ask myself where I was three years ago and I say man, did I change. I guess I do have a long way to go and I reckon when I’m 24, I’ll tell a 20 year old the same thing but where I’ll be when I’m 24 remains a mystery. I could be in Paris, or I could be in Africa working at a Safari, I don’t know, who knows! Who knows what life has in store for me.
I guess that’s the beauty of life though. You never really know where you’ll end up. But I say, make the best decisions you can and put the best effort you can into the things that matter most to you now and let life decide the rest.
2011 was a fast year for me and as much a rollercoaster as I could have ever imagined. For the blog, I was featured as the number one review blog internationally by everydaysale.co.uk, featured in Urban and The Straits Times as well as LianHe Wanbao. I finally launched roseannetangrs.com and now the YouTube channel has reached over 10,000 subscribers. I’ve been contacted by Illamsqua, Urban Decay, Clinique, Fancl, Benefit among others. It has been utterly incredible and not to mention amazing. To think all of this started from a simple thought to film a video one night. To all of you and to all I’ve worked with, thank you for your support thus far.
On a more personal note, it marked the end of 2nd year and the start of 3rd year as a University Student at the University of Melbourne. I changed my major from Finance and Marketing to Marketing and Management ( I was never much good with numbers), turned into a hardcore coffee snob and entered the world of drugstore products (the best thing I’ve done since I started make-up honestly). On an even more personal note, I’ve took on whirlwind romances, said things that took a lot of guts, partied harder because we can all be grandmas later, and my love for sharing my life with the world and you has only grown stronger. Heck, I even touched a tiger. I’ve become a bolder, I reckon better, life – seeking force.
In other words, 2011 was pretty crazy. It wasn’t much of a cruise on a lazy river. It was probably more of a speedboat chopping through an ocean with a few storms that eventually cleared. But hey, they cleared.
I’ll be graduating in 2012 from University, ready and I guess willing to enter the world of working full-time. I’ll be 21 years old this year. It’s supposed to be magical. Well, anyway even if it isn’t, I plan to make it magical. One day, I want to start my own business but I need to do that when the time is right and right now, I know I’m not ready yet. Timing is everything. I reckon I’ll just know, you know?
To that, I want to get a full-time and secure job, want to learn how to drive a car or even a motorcycle (anything that can move me from point a to b is stellar), move out to a place I can call my own, do things I’ve never done, be courageous in expressing how I feel, go to places I’ve never been before and meet people, meet as many people as I can and learn how to trust and to most importantly ask. I barely ask for things, I’m not very good at it. I want to continue to give more than I take.
Let’s hope the prophecies that the world will end this year aren’t true, but even if it does, let’s hope that you’ve done enough in this life to be proud of yourself anyway. That’s very important. Know what you’ve accomplished and give yourself a pat on the back.
Most of all, I want to help you to do the same. I’ll try all I can to help you when you need it. I wish you the best in 2012 and I look forward to writing for you in the year ahead.
I hope you’re doing well this Sunday morning. I have my favourite shirt on that my parents tell me that I over-wear way too much and my favourite jeans shorts. I’m ready to head to the library to check out a few cool books out to read over the holidays. I know, I’m getting my nerd on even when I’m not supposed to. Houston, we have a problem. I thought I’d make a tangspiration post before I leave.
This blog means a lot to me. I think perhaps that’s an understatement but having Asian parents, things get a little difficult when they see you on the computer all the time. My parents do know that I blog and that I YouTube but I’m sure you know that they have what many term “Asian parent syndrome”. It’s not a racist term. Trust me, I’m asian I would know but it happens to many third culture kids. I’ve grown up in a so called “western society” even living in Singapore, I went to American international schools all my life and I’m currently completing my uni degree in Melbourne. I’m very lucky I know but I have to say western and asian ideals are very different and that’s why sometimes my mom and I clash. I get the you should be doing medicine or becoming a lawyer a little more than much instead of blogging right now. Of course there are exceptions, no generalizations made.
I guess it really all boils down to how much you want something to be successful. You might not have a blog and perhaps you can only relate by wanting that grade at school or wanting to get into the cross country team or maybe even getting that promotion at work, but how much do you want what you really want? More often than not, life doesn’t hand us what we want on silver platters. Instead, it tends to throw obstacles our way to question how much we want something. It’s our perseverance, passion and commitment to what we want that will keep us racing to the finish line. In fact, the best things in life are the things you’ve worked the hardest for because the greatest rewards are the rewards that you’ve earned yourself.
That being said, I tweeted the other day – You can’t get much in life unless you work for it because that’s the only way life’s gonna know how much you want it.
Most of all, you know what you want. Filter out the people who are going to tell you that what you want is wrong. They don’t know what you want. You should know what you want. Now go get it.
Life is a journey. Sometimes we give up without realising how close to the finish line we are. It’s that extra inch or that extra ounce of effort that makes all the difference. Go the extra mile, you’ll be sure to gain something anyhow.
I know, I know, I’m sprouting new segments on this blog like grass on a new batch of fertilizer. Apologies if necessary. So what exactly is Tangspiration? Unfortunately, it can’t be found on Urban Dictionary (yet) and admittedly, it’s a term that I made-up only a few seconds ago. It means inspiration from my heart, cliche as that my sound. This place afterall is about empowering the everyday woman and I have to say although I’m 20, I’ve been through stuff that I think about and I learn from because after all, we all know that life is just one big learning experience.
Today I’m going to talk about living in the moment. I know this might sound like the lyrics from your favourite rock song but it’s often a concept of life that we overlook. Living in the moment to me is taking any opportunity that comes your way, taking risks, chances and forgetting about your past and even sometimes dismissing the future. It’s hard. It’s hard because we’re scared and we’re afraid of what the future holds for us or what perhaps the past has taught us. But there’s a saying out there that says – What if it all doesn’t work out…but what if it does? Often, we assume that things automatically won’t work out because sometimes its easier to expect the worst than face disappointment. Don’t you think that’s silly though? Let’s look at my perspectives of the past and then the future and see how we can use both of them to tackle the present.
Everything happens for a reason. I know that quote has been washed, rinsed and dried probably more than what is necessary but there’s a reason for that and that’s because it’s true. I believe that everyone who walks into your life, walks into your life to teach you something. I’m not talking about the man at Starbucks who made your coffee this morning, I’m talking about significant people. Lovers, haters, friends and family. Everything therefore that happens to you, whether it’s worth smiling or grieving about, happens for you to learn something new. Sometimes I have trouble finding what that something is but eventually I do. And if you live your life that way, you’ll find that you’re a living a much more meaningful and purposeful life. Look at your past as a historical tool box of experiences and I find that whenever I do encounter something new in life, it feels like a test I’ve studied for. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way.
Don’t be afraid of what the past has taught us. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Take risks like you’ve never been burnt. Live in the moment and don’t be afraid of what you’ve done. Forgive yourself, embrace yourself and then move towards greener pastures because these moments that you are living right now are the only moments you’ll have. It’s 10:27 PM. I’m in my pajamas and I’m typing this for you to read tomorrow morning and sometimes I have to breathe and ground myself again because I forget. I won’t have another 10:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2011 – ever again – and I reckon that’s enough reason for me to believe.
Sometimes we’re scared to take these opportunities or to do these things that we want to do because we are scared of the consequences or even the outcome of how our decisions will impact the future. And, it’s all for good reason. I’m not saying you should be reckless and that you should live your life without rules and consequences because that would be silly. You know what’s right and wrong and keeping in mind how your decisions will impact others and your own future is important. However, don’t be silly. What we want right now won’t always be what we want in a few years. Just imagine. When I was 17 years old, just 3 years ago, I was a totally different person compared to what I am now. Totally. In 3 years, I could be totally different again. What were you like 3 years ago? Sometimes we’re afraid to let go of something because at this current moment, it seems to be exactly what we’ve always wanted. But the future is uncertain and we have to live with that uncertainty and if we still cling on now, time will continue to move ahead of us and it is our decision whether we want to keep up with it.
Saying that, you don’t know what the future is going to be like. You have no clue. You think you might have some vague idea of what it’s like but you really don’t. You could in fact win the lottery for a billion dollars tomorrow or you could fall madly in love with a stranger, ruining all your plans. We don’t have an inkling of what it will be like, so why are you worrying? Why are you worrying about your decision and future consequences of taking a great opportunity when you don’t know what the future will be like? Isn’t that silly? I’m talking about good opportunities by the way. Recklessness is bad and if you know this is good, take it. Don’t hesitate, just do it. You know it’s going to be good. Don’t be scared of the future. We can only hope that our decisions now will contribute to it but know that hope isn’t going to make things concrete.
What do we do now?
So getting a better idea of the dynamics of the past and future, what should we do now, Roseanne? Seriously, I just spent 15 minutes reading that. Well, there’s no step by step process of doing this. There’s no you gotta do this first or you gotta do that first. How these things work is through belief. If you understand and see the future or the past in a certain way, your actions and ideals will automatically shape itself.
Simply put – To live in the moment, believe that the past is there for us to learn and not to overpower our decisions to live in the present. It is a conscious knowing but it should not hold us back from taking opportunities or taking chances. To live in the moment, believe that the future is uncertain – that we don’t really know what’s going to happen to each of us, and by believing that, it makes us treasure the current moment even more because it is the only moment we have for sure.
I’m not telling you to do whatever you want because you shouldn’t care about the future. I’m not telling you to drop out of school because you don’t like it. I’m not telling you to go steal, rob or take drugs because you shouldn’t care anymore. I’m telling you to take a chance on something good. I’m telling you to let your heart loose with that guy who’s making sure you’re okay everyday. I’m telling you to take that job offer or learn what you’ve always wanted to learn or do what you’ve always loved. I’m telling you to live your life and live a little because when you do that – it’s the only way your life becomes a life that’s worth living.
Wonderful middle pictures courtesy of the internet :)
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Let’s be real. You could look like Miss Universe on the outside but if you’re like the wicked witch of the west on the inside, I don’t believe you can ever be truly beautiful. Whether it’s something simple like opening the door for the next person behind you or a strong charismatic glow, inner beauty I think takes many forms. In fact, it’s something I don’t mind sharing either. So here are my top 10 characteristics of a truly beautiful woman – a woman who encapsulates a kind, powerful and strong heart. Truth be told, I believe sometimes inner beauty is all you need.
1. Loves and Respects Herself
A woman who loves herself is admirable. I don’t mean a woman who stares into every reflective surface, but someone who respects herself to know what is right from wrong. If you love yourself, you’ll know what’s right for you and you’ll be able to stay away from what you know is wrong. A woman who loves herself is a woman who respects her body not to induce self harm, a woman who respects her heart not to fall for nonsense and a woman who respects her soul to seek enriching and valuable experiences.
2. Confident, but not cocky
They say confidence is the most important accessory a woman can wear. True. With confidence, you glow and feel like you can take on the world. Whatever challenges that come your way, you’ll be able to hit outta the ball park and you strut walkways like runways. In fact, I think that wearing confidence is more attractive than wearing any beauty product. A confident woman is able to light an inner glow that is contagious in a room of insecurities.
3. Generous Heart
Have a big enough heart to be generous. I’m not talking about money either. Have the heart to love unconditionally, to care for a stranger or many, and to share experiences when needed. Have the heart to teach someone something new, to help someone grow as a person, to sacrifice your time for a person who needs it more. Sometimes people say they’re generous just because they’re giving a few hundred dollars to a local charity. I think generosity means much more than that, much more than a number, I think it means a self-less willingness to give and to service humankind.
4. Supportive and Inspirational
I reckon that you can be real, there’s nothing wrong in stating the truth but I think one should be considerate in knowing when to be supportive and when to be critical. I think if you know that something means a lot to a person, you should support them in any way you can. Be the voice that helps them realize that possibilities are endless and that giving up and failure is always a choice. But it’s not only in another’s endeavours that you should be supportive for, you should be supportive enough to advise them right from wrong too.
5. Considerate and Kind
These characteristics are a given. In fact, they’re probably one of the first things you think of when you think of inner beauty. Someone who takes into account how others are feeling and puts themselves in their shoes is truly kind and considerate. Whether it’s taking out your wallet as a gesture at the end of a date, or being careful about how your words might make someone else feel, kindness is certainly not surrounding yourself with furry forrest friends, but really putting yourself in another’s shoes.
6. Genuine and Real
Be real, especially when it comes to realising that no one is perfect. I think that being yourself is better than trying to be someone you’re not or trying to be someone you know you should be. Perhaps you can’t be all of this, maybe it’s not your nature to do so, then take it as light hearted advice to steer or guide your actions but you shouldn’t feel pressured to become it. Being real and true to yourself and celebrating your individuality is better than being someone you’re not. Period. Also saying you’re the bomb when you don’t practice what you preach is not being genuine. I think a woman should be modest but not self-deprecating.
7. Loyal to Friends and Lovers
Loyalty to me is so important. I hear stories of people cheating on their partners and it breaks my heart. It’s not only love though, because you should be loyal to your friends as well. That means standing up for them when someone is bashing them up, sticking to your values and morals and being genuine enough not to backstab your way through life because we all know what goes around, comes around.
8. Honest and True
No one likes a perpetual liar. To be honest and truthful and not being afraid of the consequences of telling the truth is a beautiful thing. Honesty in endeavours makes a good result worthwhile. It means you earned it. Honesty in life frees the heart of guilt and living an honest life will make you happier. There is nothing wrong in admitting your wrong-doings because it helps you learn and that’s what life is for.
9. Visionary and Intelligent
A woman isn’t only beautiful because of how she looks, she’s beautiful because she has a good head on her shoulders. Intelligence, brains and wit add substance to her beauty. She’s well-cultured, knowledgeable about the world around her, and most of all does not act stupid when she’s not. This isn’t about getting Einstein’s IQ, it’s about being curious about the world and seeking knowledge to know more about your surroundings. Knowledge makes a powerful, engaging and interesting woman. You’re a cultured conversationalist. You don’t want to talk to a woman who stares blankly at you dumbly no matter how pretty she is.
10. Passionate and Strong
A beautiful woman is passionate about something, has a dream or a goal in life and will do the work to make it happen. She’s strong to admit that there is a challenge ahead of her but her passion is strong enough to overcome it. A beautiful woman is also ambitious, strong, and well focused. She wants to get somewhere in life and I think that’s important.
So those are my top 10 characteristics of a truly beautiful woman!
I asked some of you on Facebook and here’s what you said!
My current motto: Never give up, live the dream, live your best life!
What do you think makes a truly beautiful woman? Comment down below!
I always say you can go through life being afraid of the I don’t knows, but what is life if you only travel safe?
When my mother asks me: “Roseanne, are you sure it’s going to work out?
And my reply is always, “Mom, I have no idea, but I have a good feeling about this and that’s all that really matters right now.”
When I’m out and about and I happen to tell someone about roseannetangrs, the blog and the youtube channel, probably the most common question I get asked is how I started this whole thing. I get it from friends, and fledgling bloggers who want to know how I got “big” or why I started what I do in the first place. So, I thought it would be almost necessary to blog about it.
roseannetangrs started on YouTube back in March 2009. I was 18 years old, about to finish my senior year in high school and with the onset of Senior prom around the corner and my parents believing I didn’t need a professional make-up artist to do my make-up, I thought I’d look online to see what I could conjure up for this seemingly special day. That day I logged onto youtube to find so many awesome videos was the day I got hooked. I got hooked bad. Make-up wasn’t superficial to me, it was my me-time in the morning getting ready and looking “pretty”, that gave me the confidence I needed to carry through with my responsibilities at school. Senior Year was tough – I was President of the Medical Club and President of the Community Service Council which overlooked all service clubs at school and I was taking primarily college level courses in..High School. I lead a team of 10 (executives and trainees) for a club of 150 for the Medical Club and had to lead multitudes for the community service council, leading and attending about 8 meetings a week. Make-up to me wasn’t about looking hot for that boy in my afternoon class, it was about looking hot for me.
That being said, I thought it would be fun one day to upload a video on YouTube about a haul of make-up palettes I bought from my blog shop. It really was one of my first major make-up purchases and I remember being throughly excited. This never was intentional, I have to say that I kind of stumbled onto it. I never intentionally had any inkling that this was going to be bigger than I thought it ever would. I thought maybe five or six views was impressive to know that people were actually watching me. So, I stacked a bunch of books ontop of a tissue box, and my sony camera that I hated ontop of that and pressed record. I wasn’t nervous, a little excited though, because I knew that I was just going to upload it and then go have dinner downstairs. I didn’t know or have any intentions that I was ever going to become what I am today. Here’s that very first video:
I can’t say I always wanted to attend makeup school, and be a makeup artist and be all make-up, make-up, make-up. When I tell a friend about what I do, sometimes the first question they ask me is “Did you go to makeup school?”. But honestly, to do what I do, you don’t need a formal institution because it’s possible to learn it yourself. I did.
It was a long journey, no doubt. I still remember the day when I knew I had to do my own prom make-up and I had no idea how. I looked it up on YouTube and one of the first gurus I laid eyes on was Panacea81, before she got really famous. She now has her own makeup line, By Lauren Luke, at department stores. It was the first time I ever saw a tutorial but that video led to a YouTube obsession. If you really like something, you won’t even realize how much time you spend watching makeup videos and I ‘m sure a load of you will agree. I took it to the next level though. Every night I would watch my fill on my macbook, set it down next to my bed, and sleep. The minute I wake up, I would reach out and feel around for my macbook and wham bham I’m back to watching videos for a few minutes before getting up. It was my morning coffee. Then, I would bring it to the bathroom and brush my teeth while I continue learning and watching and well…get ready for the day. I learned what I know from blogs, YouTube, and TV. Once you learn the basics, you can explore on your own and start to develop your own opinions about products and how you can deliver your opinions to your audiences better. If I can learn all of this myself, so can you and I don’t mean to sound like Yan Can Cook.
Then with all stories, more and more people watched it, and I started to get subscribers. People actually liked me. So, after one video, I started to upload more videos not to garner views or attract subscribers but because I loved filming and uploading. It was almost stress-relieving. As time went on, I wanted to make something a little more out of this and created a brand, a name and a story behind it. I wanted to make a difference. Most make-up gurus don’t apply the product on the camera from bare face to finished face and I often wanted to see products on real skin not just having the person “talk” about it. I wanted them to show me what they meant. My videos provide that and I wanted to display almost another realm of honesty. My Queen Helene Mint Julep mask, my second video, has nearly 60,000 views.
I started blogging to create another platform for my videos. Back then, I would just embed the video in the post and click publish. But then, I started to make awesome friends from blogging. I remember going on my first outing with Diana (adorebeauty), Julaiha (fiestyskies), Joyce (forensia330), Sarah Chaudry (facesbysarah) and Maddy (madcancer7) – my first blogger meet-up. Soon, blogging became a place where I shared my make-up finds with my blogger friends and everyone else who wanted to see what I had to offer too. I took YouTube much more seriously then but I decided to up my game in blogging by providing something different. I rarely ever read blogs that actually showed their naked face from start to finish online. Most of them would just upload press pictures of the product and then talk about it. I wanted in-depth reviews, I wanted cool pictures that showed those points, I wanted it fun and then roseannebeauty came along.
From the pictures, to the swatches, to the little humor I added in the text – roseannebeauty became my vision of what a beauty blog should be. It became a place where I could talk to viewers, say what I wanted to say and most of all keep it real. None of that glitter shimmer, finger kawaii peace sign stuff. Just down to earth how-to’s and reviews in a detailed but easy to understand light.
Roseannebeauty is my old blog now and I can’t believe I’m finally moving to greener pastures. I guess in a sense, I became what I am today because of my relentless passion to keep improving myself and to really never be complacent with what I offered. Blogging and social media really started to grow with me and I guess I came in at the right time, of course unintentionally though.
Beauty to me isn’t just a past time, hobby or interest. It means much more. It is an outlet, an expression and most of all a tribute to yourself. I wanted to help, inspire and empower the the everyday woman. Cliché as it sounds, makeup to me was the only time I had time for myself. That ten or fifteen minutes in front of my vanity, making myself pretty for no one else but me helped at least probably one of the hardest times I had through a breakup. I do what I do to help. To give that big bear hug, a tissue or even a little added fun to learning something new. I say, never do something without a passion or a mission, and with roseannetangrs, I hope that it’s clear.
The best thing about it though is that you can relate and you become a friend who’s there for your viewers and readers when they need help with not only beauty issues, but personal ones as well. I have wonderful people emailing me about school or life problems and I’m glad that they chose me to give them advice. It’s hard work that gives passion a backbone. I’m a 20 year old girl running her own show, and trust me it’s a one-man show that’s not easy. I make it a point to reply to as many people as I can, if not all because I know that if I was a viewer, I’d like to be treated the same way. And that’s the exact mentality that you should have.
You get to make friends with viewers you haven’t met before. Ok, you’re probably thinking “roseanne, that’s how cyber stalking works,” No No. The beauty of it all is meeting people, caring about them, knowing them, and then when you finally meet, it’s like the coolest thing ever. I get spotted on the streets in Melbourne and Singapore and I apologize to people who spotted me at the start because boy was I awkward turtle. When someone comes up to you, you’re lost for words really because wow. I was that girl no one knew and wow, you know me. It’s sort of a surreal experience because you’re meeting people who appreciate you and your work.
Blogging and YouTube helped me with my personal growth. It made me really re-think what I valued most and to be able to not only practice it but preach it. To be outspoken for what I believed in and to encourage others to do the same. To come out of my shell and say hello – to be bold, to be kind, to know when to take things lightly and to be open to both sides of the story. I became generally a better, friendly and more confidant woman – which is exactly what I wanted for all my viewers and readers.
For press, I still remember when I discovered that I was mentioned on Yahoo Singapore’s Weekend Edition thanks to I-S Magazine. I was studying for my statistics final so I was muddled doing Wilcoxon rank sum tests, trying to understand the whole thing and quite depressed. A friend suddenly What’s App-ed me saying, Roseanne, I saw your blog on Yahoo! Immediately I stood up, ran to the nearest computer I could find and logged on. And there it was. I was…kind of speechless really, but more so extremely happy. It’s that sort of thing where all you can say is “Wow”. I shared it with friends on facebook and for the rest of the night, let’s say I couldn’t exactly concentrate on statistics anymore. Since then, I’ve been featured in The Straits Times, Singapore’s National Newspaper, The Straits Times Urban and even LianHe Wanbao. You really don’t know where your life will take you.
And that’s how it started. I had zero followers, no one knew what roseannetangrs was and then one day they did. Of course the journey there wasn’t that simple but it was doable. And honestly, you never realize what you’ve accomplished until you look back and say “wow”.
I have to say that this whole blogging and youtubing has given me such an enriching experience. From the friends you make, to the people and the companies you meet, I have to say that this experience gives you lessons you would have never learnt otherwise. It has given me a whole other dimension and it all started one fine day when I decided to plop my camera on a box of tissues and start filming.
Of course, if you have any questions at all, feel free to comment below!
“Just try your best, try everything you can” – The Middle, Jimmy Eat World
Welcome to roseannetangrs.com, one of Singapore's Top Beauty Blogs aiming to empower the everyday woman. If you're looking for quick beauty tips, idiot-proof makeup tutorials, the best reviews and a little inspiration, you've come to the right place. Have your fill and if you want a little more, keep connected below! I am also a certified and professional make-up artist, for services please enquire at firstname.lastname@example.org! Love, Roseanne
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I trust and believe in the Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, and this blog is alive through Him † God is real and revealed himself to me long before I knew Him. Everything makes sense. Forever grateful for his limitless love for us. None of what I do would be possible without his grace, blessing and guidance step by step in my life. I know that whatever he leads me to, I will conquer for he has provided everything I need. Let my life and my works be living testimony of His greatness so that others may come to know Him and experience his love, grace and blessing in their lives.