Hey Everyone!

I’m feeling a little nostalgic tonight. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m lying here looking at old photos on facebook or that I don’t want to finish up my work. I don’t want to be a crying baby, but I miss Melbourne. I miss going to college. I remember at that time I never really understood why  ”grown-ups” always told me to really cherish university life. I mean look at all the deadlines, assignments and projects right? Seriously though, really enjoy it because I’m telling you now you’re going to miss it when it’s gone.

I remember hating college and Melbourne for the first two years. I even wanted to move back and enrol myself in a local uni. Perhaps it was the culture shock or the fact that I didn’t have anyone to wash up after me. I just felt lonely and wanted to go back home. It was too cold, too foreign and I had too much work to do. Now that I think about it, it was only my last year and a half that I realised how fun exploring a city on your own and growing on your own is and I feel really blessed for everything and everyone I met during my college years.

If you’re about to go to college, or it might just be your first year, or you find yourself just hating it – here’s my two cents. University is about finding a balance between doing what you came to uni for and also using those critical years to explore and develop relationships with people. Get to know people. Go to parties. Say yes. Ask people out to lunch, to coffee, go be a tourist. I used to go to parties alone only knowing one person and coming out knowing everyone. Find out their story and learn their experiences. I think a mistake that a lot of people make is to entirely “close the door and only study”. I mean I could be treading on ice here by saying this but uni isn’t just about studying. It is about studying, but I’m here to say – utilize it well. A core skill that you need to learn for I guess the workforce and really for life are basic social skills – like meeting people, making friends, PR and getting to know them more. A lot of students spend their entire college years trying to get perfect scores, but when it comes to the interview, they’re just stiff cut-outs of the institution they just came out of.

Yet, a lot of students also make another mistake – and that’s not studying enough. Again, it’s about a balance right? When you’re in uni, you could be exactly the opposite. You’re like a dog without a leash and you want to soak everything up – including the bad. It is so important to get started with the right friends. Surround yourself with people who make you grow stronger and better as a person, who take delight in things that help you grow. The people you surround yourself with (your friends that you make) will start to mould and shape you, no matter what! Make that a positive influence in your life rather than a negative one. Doing things that alter you won’t make you forget the problems. I’m not here to be your Mom or Dad. I went through the same phase. You realize and mature after a while that all of that is complete mist. A vague substance you fill your holes with but when the mist clears, it is absolutely empty. Fill your pot full when you leave college and that’s substance that you’ll always have.

Explore, learn, experience. These are major things that I held on to besides studying. I did well in Uni, but I also came out with a whole list of experiences that are irreplaceable – whether its with friendships, love or life lessons. I can’t wait to one day walk the streets of Melbourne again, but I reckon it probably won’t feel the same. I won’t have the same people around me nor the same situations. I always feel like it’s so amazing that it seems like the people you meet are always at the right place and at the right time to experience things with you. Never dismiss a disappointing experience – a failed relationship, a jerk for a boyfriend or a backstabbing friend included – those help refine you into diamonds.

Good luck in College! ;)

Roseanne 

Hey Everyone,

Don’t snap out of it, step out of it. And maybe run.

I was sitting at a cafe the other day and to be honest, I can’t help but hear into the conversations around me. Not that I intentionally do, it’s sound, it travels. One person talked about her boyfriend of a few years leaving her, another about cheating, another about drinking, drugs and horrible friends. You might think, “Gosh, roseanne what cafe is that? Don’t go back” but I realise increasingly that I’m hearing about unhappiness rather than happiness and increasingly I feel that it might be becoming the talk of today. Sadly.

If you’re in a situation where it hurts you more to be in it than aids you and you feel it’s best to leave a situation, you should. Here’s the cold hard truth. Bad friends, aren’t friends. Alcohol and drug addictions don’t and won’t substitute the emptiness you feel. Tomorrow it’ll come back. Cheating makes you take more and more, but at the end of the day, you’ll have nothing. Don’t go out with your abusive boyfriend before it’s too late- make sure you “date” him before you’re “together” with him so you know him – goes with all boys actually. These things rob you of everything that you’ve always wanted in leading a happy and healthy life of having a future family, house, kids, a great job, and a purpose in life. Worst of all, they trick you into thinking that you do have something, that you will have something but in actual fact, there is absolutely nothing. In fact, you end up losing even more of yourself.

Good friends want the best for you, understand you and are there for you even if you don’t want to do the things they’re doing. Changing your ways and finding your passion in life that makes you truly happy will substitute the emptiness you feel, forever. Having one person to love, trust, hold and believe in who loves you just as much is one of the greatest things a person can find. Finding someone who respects you is the most important. Respect yourself, it’s worth it. Depend on yourself for your own happiness, not on someone else or something else.

You might ask, “Roseanne..but this is all I’ve known. This is who I am. My parents are alcoholics, I’m one too. My friends cheat on each other, they get drunk every day. There’s nothing I can do.” What an excuse girl. STEP OUT OF IT. Some people say snap out of it, but that’s not enough to realize what you’re doing. Realize, hold back, and step out of the situation. Find yourself, your true self, not under a blanket of addictions and find your way out. There’s always a way out, you just have to get to it and free yourself. “It’s not that easy, Roseanne”. It’s not, never said it was, but what I did say was that it’s worth it.

Love,

Roseanne

Hey Everyone,

It’s been a while since I’ve written a Tangspiration post. I guess it’s because I only write one of these when I get inspired to. I was sitting on the couch eating my lunch today when I started to reflect on what I’ve done in life (funny what a bowl of fried rice can do) and it came to me, “Man, I had NO idea.” I had no idea that I’d be blogging and youtubing and collaborating with major companies and agencies. I had no idea that one day I would welcome Christ into my life and just have such an awesome relationship with God knowing that I’ve been brought up differently. I had no idea that I’d be in a relationship even. I remember only a few months ago saying that I’d probably never get married (I know, issues much?). I had no idea that I’d even be in make-up, much less get into fashion jewelry and now in the midst of opening my own online store. Growing up, I’ve been trained to feel like I should be a doctor or a lawyer or a successful CEO and never have I even imagined that I wouldn’t even care about any of that, now.  I guess the point is in reflecting that “I had no idea”, I see really how awesome life can be because you really have no idea what’s next.

I think part of the beauty in life is how unexpected things can be. I was really the nerd in High School. All I cared about was my grades, all I cared about was things that I don’t care about now. And I think a lesson to learn from that is that sometimes the things that you care so much about right now, won’t really matter in a few years. As we grow as people, we change and hopefully for the better and we change what we like, what we enjoy doing and grow into who we were made to be. Sometimes slowy, but surely. I think that’s also why when we listen to the superficiality of the world as they call it, and go into something that we weren’t meant to do like become a banker when we really like painting, we are unsatisfied and unhappy. No matter how many mountains of cash you can make, we feel empty because we do not fulfill a much deeper purpose and from my perspective, God-given.

I wonder when again I will be telling myself “I had no idea” . I wonder what it might be. Perhaps I’ll be in another country and telling myself “I had no idea” or staring something else that “I had no idea” about. For me, I trust God to lead me and use me for whatever He wants me to do. But if you can’t relate, I still believe that just like me, you have no idea what you might be into in a couple of years. All we can do is anticipate in excitement and perhaps stumble upon the fore-shadowing of hopefully something great. What did you have no idea about?

Love,
Roseanne

Hey Everyone,

I’m sure everyone has a dream. It could be a dream to open a corner bakery or become the President of the United States. Whatever it is, the only way we can achieve that dream is to walk. I see my friends wanting to do something but for some reason they fail to see that they’re not moving towards their dream but insist on a standstill. People often put walls up on this journey to a dream. They say “I’m not going to do it now because I’m going to wait till this part of my life is over before I can start” or “I’m not going to go on a diet until after Mom’s birthday buffet,”. It’s sorta the same concept. Although that’s fine to put walls up I think the major obstacle is when people push those walls further along the line than the point on which they were built. That means you not doing anything about your sole purpose in life expands.

It’s almost human to do that I guess. To push it away. We reject our Mother’s advice when we’re teenagers, junk food tastes better than celery, drinking and doing drugs is easier than facing something that we’ve always wanted to hide. But know that just as you put off that “diet” even after Mom’s birthday buffet – you are leading yourself to a much lower position in your life than you sought out in the first place. You see your life can go two ways. One way goes to life to the full and the other way can lead to just the opposite. Don’t let the walls that you build yourself lead you in the wrong direction.

I think we sometimes feel that we’re helpless against what we build ourselves. It’s easier to just eat it. It’s easier to just not do it. But as they all say, nothing worth fighting for was ever easy. Don’t delay life, we can’t wait for our lives to start. It already started when we started having dreams.

Hey Everyone,

The only reason why we’re scared, is cause we wanna be scared. It’s really our choice. Fear comes in many different forms. It can be as simple as that pounding feeling you feel when you’re about to climb up on stage and say something, could even be as complex as getting started on a dream online store. Trust me, we could be so scared that we’re peein’ in our pants but I want you to know that the only reason why you’re scared is because you’ve chosen to be scared.

Listen to the voice that’s telling you that that audience out there is going to love what you have to say instead of the one saying you’re going to trip on the stairs getting up there, split open your pants and everyone’s going to start laughing at you before you even start (c’mon as if that’s going to happen). Or the voice that’s telling you that you’re going to make it, not fail it. We all have two voices in our head and it’s up to us who we listen to.

I guess it comes from a little experience though. Being a blogger, I get a little scared about whether you’re going to like watching a new video I made or even reading what you’re reading right now. Maybe I got a little chubbier and you’re going to notice, maybe what I’m writing now doesn’t even make sense. What if you get sick of me one day? Or listen to some gossip that’s so not true about me on the internet. I don’t know, you never know what could happen really! But truth be told, I guess doing what I do gets hard. I’m sure if you’ve started a blog before or you’re having one now, it’s not always a comfy bed of roses. There’s a lot of hard work that goes into this and I just tell myself that I choose not to listen to that voice that’s telling me I’m no good to anyone and listen to the one that maybe even if I can’t reach millions of people, that maybe just one person might get where I’m going and might overall benefit from what I’m doing. Even if it’s just one person, it’s enough for me. There were a lot of times I just wanted to quit but I’ve told myself countlessly that “No, I’m not going to listen to that voice, I’m going to believe in me,” and it actually keeps me going. Plus, y’all are amazing people who are really supportive.

I’ve figured that it’s also pretty related to love, especially I guess mending a broken heart. I think when we break up with someone, we keep thinking of all the things that we could have done right, or just really replaying memories that we have of them and just being miserable about it. I don’t think it’s God’s intention to make you miserable because He wants you to live your life to the full and that’s not part of the plan. I’ve made a video on How to Get Over Someone which is getting a good amount of attention, it really makes me happy to look at the comments on that and see how many people are really getting help from my video but one of the things I did say is to ignore it and don’t feed the fire. I related the fire to be basically the love you have for that person who you can’t be with anymore and people tend to really over-think and overwhelm themselves that they feed that “love” that’s not supposed to be there anymore. They tend to add “wood” which are the thoughts to the “fire” when they should be ignoring it so that it can die out eventually. We need to allow ourselves to do that, but if we listen to that voice that makes us miserable, there is no way we can let that naturally happen. When I made that video, I was in the process of “healing” actually and it took me a long time but I decided that I had enough of these stupid thoughts, of these memories being dangled in front of me, of me feeling insecure and not good enough – I guess you could say I was sick of depending my happiness on a person who didn’t deserve it. I was sick of it enough to tell it that “No, I’m not going to listen to you anymore, I’m actually great, I don’t need that kind of person in my life, and there is so much ahead of me that the now will not define my future.” It worked.

I think also sometimes we tend to underestimate ourselves too much. Maybe we are whipped from young to think that we can’t do everything and anything. We should be modest and not think of ourselves so highly (of course not stepping over the line of egotistical) but I guess it’s okay to feel like you’re empowered and you’re awesome. Because you’re awesome. Everyone has this purpose in life, even if you don’t know it yet, it might not be to start up your own bakery or magazine – sometimes purpose comes through not by financial or career perspectives, but by relationships with people. Maybe your calling is to help others, help your family, help friends, help your partner grow. I’m sidetracking. Point is, value yourself because you are valuable and because you are valuable, listen to the right voice inside your head – the one you know is right.

Love,

Roseanne